When you're right in the thick of it everything is logical and figured out,
All the joy in the world surrounds you and there is not one single doubt,
Life has suddenly turned a page and the future doesn't look like it did anymore,
Thoughts are thought, plans are planned and dreams are dreamed like never before.
Then you ignore things you start to see, they couldn't become a regular thing,
This is where from time to time your heart and your head begin arguing,
The good times are so great that at other times you let the negativity go,
But patterns emerge and fear sets in about whether there is more you should know.
Chances are kept being given and apologies continue to become a routine,
Questioning quietly to yourself about about what it all could mean,
The bitterness and resentment builds and takes over control,
And soon enough the mistrust and doubts have created a massive hole.
Feelings and emotions that were thought to be concrete alter,
Fighting and accusations happen blaming each other for the falter,
Finding that every step you take is determined to be something wrong,
Being in a place where in your heart you now know you don't belong.
© Poetic Anita Ashwini Shea 2015
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